Congrats Congress

S: I am convening this special class since you two have created quite some disturbance in the country off late.

A: But you too are responsible for the same ma’am

S: You can’t be this rude. Learn to be like M.Mohan .

A: No way. It is better to die than to be like him. Look at him; he has become a symbol of gullibility. No wonder you chose him as PM over me.

S: you shouldn’t say that. People think that I have sacrificed my seat to more worthy candidate. Such remarks from you will bring down the image in front of the public. Doesn’t it M.Mohan?

M: Yes Ma’am

A: Though I have total disregard for you and M.Mohan, I wouldn’t say that in public. Remember how beautifully I tackled if not cornered Karan thapar in my interview to CNN IBN?

S: That was the worst interview I have ever scene. You couldn’t answer many questions, and it was palpable when you remained dumbfounded for more than half a minute for the last question. What ever the question was, your only answer was “parliament is supreme”.

A: Yup, I am not ashamed of the being cornered. As you would know me by now, I as shameless as any politician could possibly be. Infact you have to agree, that was a good answer.

S: Actually yes. M.Mohan, if the media were to question you on anything, remember to say “parliament is supreme” and nothing more

M: Yes Ma’am

A: that is unfair. It is an answer I use and I intend to use the same when I bring the Private property reservation act, where in if the OC guy manages to buy a house despite the heavy taxes, 1/3 rd of the floor space need to be reserved for OBCs, 1/5 for SC and ST and the remaining for which ever caste for the majority during election. Then M.Mohan and Chidambaram can assure the public that despite the reservation, the house will still be in the name of the owner, who can stay in the verandah.

S: Good one. That way we can satisfy the “house for everyone” slogan of our CMP (Communist Maneuvered Program). With support like this, parliament being supreme, why not we pass a bill and partition the whole Indian land among the legislators? It will obviously pass though with full house support, and it is legal that way. After all we legislators have legalized all he criminal activities that can possibly be done by us. Don’t we have the power?

A: Mr. Kalam would object. But poor guy is powerless. May be SC will try to stop us.

S: Why should they? May be they will keep quite if we give them 75% reservation?

A: Ma’am, by SC I meant Supreme Court. But our courts never give any verdict in time. Even their stay order comes months after filling of the case. The only cases they solve on time are those involving foreign rape victims.

S: have u even realized the possibilities? We can amass the whole of India, sell it Bofor people, or we can pass lay making India a monarchy under my family. How wonderful. Isn’t it M.Mohan?

M: Yes Ma’am

A: Why should you pass a law for that? Already we the party men have pawned our nation to you and your family. In a country of a billion people, all we can find was you as the person to lead us. We dragged you into this. We will drag your future generations as well. We have no other job. Besides there aren’t many a people left in the party. Almost all are tainted. Damn the Volcker’s report and the Bofor scam.

S: I sometime wonder how we ever got to form the government!

A: that is simple, firstly we are gullible and hence the left formed an alliance with us. The BJP is communal so not many parties dared to join them.

S: I hate communalism.

A: but atleast the left or the opposition has some basic party ideology. As u might have noticed we have none. We stand for nothing. We just need to come back to power and we form any alliance, with any party any time. Since inception, we never had a vision. Infact we hadn’t even demanded full freedom till the advent of world war -2. Only after the UK parliament started taking of taking us as an ally in WW2 and granting us independence did we realize we can be independent. Till then we burned some old clothes, demanded partial autonomy, representation in UK parliament, representation for muslims etc. Then we partitioned the country and are still continue to do it on caste basis. Even when Nehru ji himself was against reservation, have we now betrayed our own father for the sake of coming back to power? We don’t care much about ideology because we don’t have any. Some chameleons have been reported to be dead, ashamed of not being able to change colors as fast as we could.

S: that is baseless. We have stood to eradicate poverty, our single yet strong agenda. We have implemented the “food for work” program. We reformed the economy since 1991. haven’t we?

M: Yes Ma’am

A: Eradicating poverty was, is and will be our only agenda. We have used the single slogan for 60 years now and nothing seems to have improved. See, first of all, that is a mere slogan, like any other promise made. Don’t even think of accomplishing that. Then we will have nothing to promise. We already have run short of funds for our programs, on top of which the left neither lets us hike the oil prices nor do some disinvestment. But West Bengal woos the Tata and other investments and is disinvesting under the name of reform. They are over taking us in the “double game” playing ability. We had in our CMP promised not to increase oil prices. We don’t deliver that instead we shall use reservation to secure votes. Divide and rule is the only thing we learned from British.

S: Yes, reservation will work for our political benefit. Target the private sector next. But I tell you, don’t you dare come up with such sudden reservation in party membership. Atleast let me, if not MMohan, know it prior to going on air. Ok? I have heard that u planned to reserve the PM post for the mentally deranged, Indian by birth, who had been HRD minister with the first letter in his name as A. are you trying to eliminate all the others making only your self eligible?

M: Yes Ma’am

S: M.Mohan, that was told to Arjun. Not you. Please don’t answer when unasked for.

M: Yes Ma’am

A: I shall think upon it. Depends on my candidature for Prime minister post. Don’t you ever worry about such things in our party. People hardly question that. We talk of eradicating poverty and our cabinet’s average asset is more than 5 crore. Most of our party men belong to OC but we talk of reservation. It happens, the people never mind such things. Without fostering primary education we have brought reservation in PG. It is reserving piss pots in public toilets without building a public toilet. It is an agenda for ever.

S: That is great. I am happy to head such a country.

M: Yes Ma’am

A: sure you should be. That is why your life history is to be made into a motion picture with Monica Belluci starring in it. We just have to keep out of controversies; else people in Gujarat might prevent and Cinema-roko arm of the Shiv Sainiks or VHP might stall screening it.

S: So prior to the production we shall convene an all party meeting to get consensus as usual. The DMK might want it to be made in Tamil and copied onto pirated CDs. That has to be taken care. M.Mohan, arrange for the meeting immediately. I shall adjourn the class for now and we shall meet again after reserving seats in private sector, public buses etc. till then try to behave yourselves. Arjun, try not to get photographed while sleeping.

A: Sure. I will dream of pretending to be awake. Long live my, ahem, our party

M: Yes Ma’am